New Year's Eve | Abibat Mulero

Carol could hear her Christmas light repeating the jingle bells song. She squeezed her face wanting the song to fade from her hearing. 

    She drew the duvet further up, and then the tip of the pillow. Sooner she realized, it wouldn’t stop unless she put it off herself. 

    She groaned as she got out of bed, her pajamas made her feel warm but she could feel the coldness of the air against her face. She slammed the button on the Christmas light, the song came to a stop and the room fell silent. 

     She took in a good breath, for a moment it was nice, suddenly she needed the jingle bells back on. She put it back on and slummed on the couch angrily. 

     She wondered why she had been so worked up, she was twenty four and for the past three years since she’s graduated college, December had stayed her worst month of the year. She strode towards her kitchen and to the fridge; she grabbed a bowl of ice cream and sat at the counter. 

Early morning ice cream, in the cold was a good way to kill her sorrows and anxiety, and probably herself. She felt like drowning, but she wouldn’t do it on purpose so they wouldn’t think she was a sad person, well she was. 

    As she carried a spoon full of ice-creams inside her mouth, she barely felt the brain freeze. Some about her life always made her want to cry. She went back to November when she had her last interview for the year. She loathed that moment and every other moment of her life.

    She had hoped this would be it, but she sat there and watched the manager trash her designs, even the designs she created while working as an intern were rejected. 

“Did you do these?” The manager asked holding out her papers, Carol fumbled with her answers, she felt the need to lie due to desperation but her code of conduct was against that.

“Yes, sir” Carol answered, not sure enough to add more words. 

“These are like, drawings an eight year old would do” He chuckled mockingly. Carol frowned her face, totally embarrassed and angry, mostly angry ‘cause she knew she wasn’t getting the job.

“No, if you could check the ones I drew recently, my ideas are really great, all need I is equipment and work space to get better” She tried to be nice, but her smile dried on her face. 

“Well, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’ve checked the other candidates” The manager said folding her papers and handed them out to her.

Carol collected them but had something to say “Sir, are you a graphic designer?”

“Yes” He said confidently. 

Carol immediately rejected asking, but she had given the prompt “Well, I think you need to go back to school, you’re losing it”

  She stood and walked out before he’d say another word to infuriate her. 

She had cried herself to sleep that night, dying in the reality of her being useless. 

   More than ever, here comes the time of the year when everybody comes together to reflect on their achievements of the past year, some of her friends were married, some have lived life, some own their own businesses and some were good on their own, but she, she hadn’t lived at all and she had no friends to spend her holidays with, only ice cream and jingle bells.

    She closed her eyes tightly remembering this sad moment; she almost broke down crying outside the gate. And before this, there’s her numerous break ups with several guys. 

    Hoping this coming year would be better than the last. She ditched her ice cream and went out to stroll, to feel alive a little. She lived by the beach.

    Within a minute she was there, the air was cold enough, she wasn’t going to try and step inside the water. Although, there was a guy who seemed indifferent, he was seated at the shore, the waves breaking on him every second, he seemed unmoved. Carol stood there watching him, the waves came strongly and buried him, Carol shrieked back thinking the waves would drag him along, but he remained there, his hands wrapped around his knee and staring into space. 

    Carol walked towards him; she could feel the tingling of the cold current as the water washed over his foot. She stood beside him.

“Hey, you got a death wish?” She asked loudly.

He looked up at her “Yeah, are you here to grant it?”

“Nah, I’m looking for one myself.”

“Join me” He said and stared back into the river. Carol felt unsettled by the cold.

“Let me buy you a drink.”

“No thanks!” He voiced.

“Then you should buy me.” The man refused to answer.

      The cold was too much for her to bear. She turned around and headed back to her apartment to put on cloths for the weather. She got into her sweaters and boots quickly, suddenly feeling her life had been given purpose. She picked a thick jacket for the man outside.

      She went back, walking as fast as she could back towards the beach. On reaching there, he was gone. She threw her hands in the air, remembering how unlucky she was.

       She needed to buy herself that drink. She went to the local bar and spent her day there. Till a quarter to midnight.

    Funny as she didn’t get drunk, she only sat at the corner with only a pint of beer. The customers became her muse, some she laughed at and some she felt sorry for. The beer remained full as the day passed by. 

    A couple came in and sat right beside her table, they looked young, not as old as her. She focused on them, she watched the girl giggle and laugh while the boy said all the nice things, Carol felt sorry for her. 

    She felt the urge to break into their pointless conversation.

“So you love him?” She asked propping her cheek with her knuckles, like a busybody. The giggling girl lost her smile, she stared at Carol like an homeless person, the curious look on Carol’s face made her answer.

“Yes”

“Oh! Is that what he tells you or you tell yourself that?” Carol smiled. The girl smiled back. 

“You boy, why don’t you stop wasting her time and let her go, you’re clearly not going to get married and in a year or two and you girl will be finding it hard to get a job and when you really need someone to talk to, trust me, this guy here would be AWOL.” Carol ranted, rolling her eyes, she thinks it’s cool.

“Crazy!” The girl sang.

     Carol giggled at herself and then gulped down the pint which had lost most of its gas. Now she wanted to drink. At night the bar was full and noisy, she went closer to the counter. Maybe get stronger shots.

     She sat and caught a glimpse of the man she met at the beach, he was fondling with a bracelet. She hit him hard on the head. He almost dropped the bracelet, he looked at her with angry eyes, then he saw she was the one.

“You, you ran away, I went home to get you a jacket” Carol said, she pulled the jacket off and gave it to him.

“Thanks.” He took it. “You’re drunk.” He said.

Carol gave a cackled and she sounded like a duck.

“It’s New Year’s Eve, it’s the best I can do.” 

“You could get drunk with friends, you being here shows you’re sad.”

“And why aren’t you with friends?” She rests on the counter and put her face closely to his.

“I’m not New year’s biggest fan, I’m not celebrating another year of troubles”

“Hmmn, what could get a man so troubled on New year’s eve”

The man sighed “I’ve been battling with cancer, the cancer’s in both of my arms. Right now the Doctor’s about to send me a report, if my arms are going to be amputated or not” 

Carol opened her jaw, even drunk, she could still feel empathy.

“What’s got you drinking alone?” the man asked.

“Oh me? I’m useless, the most useless person I’ve met on earth is me, I’ve graduated three years and I haven’t had a job since, can you believe that? It’s like am cursed.”

The man chuckled. He checked the time and it was two minutes before midnight.

“It’s almost New Year, guess we’ll have to take a leap of faith” He shrugged. Carol nodded. Carol raised her glass and they cheered. 

 After taking a gulp, she heard a buzz in her phone; she squeezed it out and checked the Email. The man saw the cup drop her hand, Carol raised her eyes with fear and surprise mixed. The man thought someone had died, she checked her phone again, the next thing she screamed.

“I got a Job!” She screamed jumping around the bar, suddenly feeling excited and happy. Her heart leapt with joy. They ordered her shots; she drank them over and over turning ‘I got a job’ into a song.

    She finally calmed down and came back to her drinking friend, his face looked sullen. He drew his smile out faintly. She guessed something must have gone wrong during her jubilation.

“What do you do?” She asked feeling sadly.

“I’m a painter” He said, tears strolling down his eyes. She had never seen a grown man cry. He picked his phone and showed her the message he had just received, Carol read with her mouth open. She felt her joy deflate. She was supposed to be happy, she got a job, but here she was feeling bad for someone she didn’t know but called a friend.

     She felt speechless. The alarm clock in the bar rung and everybody screamed

“Happy new year!”

She had been looking forward to the moment all day with fear and anxiety, now she’d be entering the year with joy and a broken heart, she could be happy for herself but no, not when another man’s life had just been taken away from him and hers given to her in a matter of seconds.

“Happy new year” The man smiled. She nodded in return, still feeling like drowning.   

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Author:

Mulero Abibat is a writer who hails from ogun state but reside in Lagos.

She loves spending time alone, when she's not writing, she's either drawing or listening to music.