The Christmas That Burnt Bridges | Farida Mijindadi

 The silence of the cold morning was broken by Mama's shrill cry. A cry loud enough to startle anyone who lived kilometers away from us, loud enough to stop a wailing baby in her tracks and make confusion crease on her forehead.

A cry definitely loud enough to make me push Tochi away from me and wrap myself tightly with the sheets.

 As Mama stood at the door, her large bulgy eyes burrowing holes into my soul, a wave of fear and guilt swiftly enveloped me.

“Mama…” I began, but stopped.

What did I want to explain? The reason I was having sex in Grandpa's bed, a few days after his demise? Or the reason I was being rammed by Tochi, my nephew?

"What do the two of you think you're doing?" She finally asked. Her voice was shaky

There was no reply. With my heart in my mouth, I waited for one reaction. Just one reaction.

And it happened.

“Chi'm o! These boys have killed me.”

Then she sat on the floor and wailed.

_

 While the other houses were filled with bustling activities and loud Boney M songs, Chimobi's compound was like a graveyard. There were a few women seasoning a turkey at the back of the house, and Ikenna continuously pounding the boiled yam. But that was it. No chattering of little children, no sweet music to signify that it was a festive day.

It wasn't because of the demise of Pa Austin. Pa Austin had died in his sleep, three days to Christmas, and he had been mourned to the fullest.

The house was silent because Chinaza was in distress, and the tiniest noise could make her snap someone's neck.

 Christian stood in front of his mother, head bowed and his hands behind him. He had nothing but his underwear on. Hot flames rose and fanned his cheeks, as he silently waited for his mother to say a word. This wasn't how he wanted her to find out. It certainly wasn't.

“Christian.”

Her voice startled him and he looked up. Immediately his eyes met with hers, he looked away quickly. It was misty and red. He couldn't afford to see her that way.

“If you don't raise that your stupid head and look at me, I will take it away from your neck.” Even though her voice was shaky, he knew that she wasn't joking.

“What were you doing?” she asked in a harsh whisper.

No reply.

“In your late grandfather's bed. Have you no respect for the dead?” she asked again.

Her palms involuntarily hit her laps, and she let out an exasperated sigh.

 Christian didn't know how to explain to her that it was in the spur of the moment. Tochi used to sleep in Pa Austin's bedroom, and when he did, he had refused to leave.

Hearing sobs from the room that night had given Christian goosebumps and wild paranormal imaginations, before he remembered that his Nephew was also an occupant of the room.

 He met Tochi clutching Pa Austin's pipe and sobbing. In the middle of the night. When Tochi noticed another presence in the room, he said

“He used to ask me if I wanted to taste every time, and I'll say no. Then he'll chuckle and tell me to always say no, because smoking is detrimental to the health of a young boy like me,” then he broke into another bout of tears.

 It was no surprise that Tochi was taking his grandfather's death hardly. He was the closest one to him. Christian and his parents lived in the city, so they'd visit during festive occasions, but it was different for Tochi. He had lived with his grandfather all his life, and he took the old man as his best friend.

 Christian had walked to where Tochi sat and gently took the pipe away from him. Then he sat on the bed and held his hands.

“I know it's hard for you, Tochi. I'm sorry,” he whispered softly.

His words made Tochi break down even more, and Christian soothingly rubbed his back.

“It's okay, stop crying,” he said.

“I know you miss him. But grandpa won't be happy that you're still sulking over his demise. It's okay,” he continued.

 Tochi looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

“Oya na. Stop crying. See how red your eyes are. If Mama walks in now, she would think you took a drag of Grandpa's pipe,” Christian chuckled, proceeding to gently wipe the tears off his nephew's face.

But something stopped him in his tracks. Tochi had learned over and placed a kiss on Christian's lips.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a fierce whisper.

Tochi looked away and made to stand up, but Christian hastily grabbed his hand.

“Wait,” he said pleadingly. Then he leaned over.

“Why did you kiss me? Are you gay?”

Tochi's palm began to feel sweaty now. He moved away from Christian and placed his hands in between his laps.

“Sorry. I was just… sorry. Please don't tell your mother,” he said. When he didn't get a reply, he began to panic.

“I swear, it won't happen again. I don't know what came over me. See, please don't tell anybody, I'm begging y—”

“Tochi, it's okay,” Christian chuckled.

“Nobody is going to know. I like you too,” he said.

When Tochi's lips met his again, he didn't pull back this time. At first, it was just lips against soft intoxicating lips, then they gently parted and felt the warmness of each other's tongue.

_

“You are committing a grave sin. As if it's not enough, you're doing it in a dead man's bed?” his mother said again.

“Mummy, sex isn't really a sin…” his voice faltered.

“You must be an idiot!” Chinaza rose swiftly and hit him hard across the face.

“You are having sex with a man who is your blood brother, and you're still running that your stupid mouth?!” she thundered.

Christian remained silent. The stinging pain of his mother's slap was still beautifully seated on his face.

“What is your name?” she asked.

“Christian,” he muttered under his breath.

“Did they tie your tongue?” her voice rose again.

“Christian,” he repeated, but loudly this time.

“And what does it mean?”

“Christ-like.”

“Did you see Christ having sex with a man in the Bible?” she asked.

Christian remained silent.

“Christian, what has come over you? This is not the son I brought to this village. Is it Tochi? Did Tochi make you do it? I always knew my sister wouldn't raise a God-fearing child,” she ranted.

Christian didn't say a word. He gently rubbed his cheek instead.

“What did he tell you that made you turn over for him? How will you be having sex with a man like you?” she continued.

He shuffled his feet.

“I'm gay, mummy.”

He slowly raised his head and looked at his mother. Her face was expressionless.

“It's not Tochi. Tochi didn't make me do anything. I have a thing for guys. That is my sexualit—”

“If you don't shut up your mouth there!” Chinaza's voice was breaking again.

“Y-you stupid boy. You must be an idiot!” Then she hit him squarely on the face again.

“What do you know about gay? What do you know about sexuality? Ordinary seventeen year old like you?” She didn't stop hitting him as she spoke.

“How could you let the devil use you? You watch all this stupid thing every time, how will he not enter you? You must be an idiot!”

 Christian managed to get away from his mother's blows, and stood at the far end of the room, breathing heavily.

As he stared at his mother's tear-filled eyes, he knew things would never remain the same in the home again.

“Christian, you will not kill me. That thing the devil planted inside you, we will remove it. I don't care about Tochi. If his mother likes, she should not start treating him. But you—” she wagged a finger at him. “That evil spirit will leave your body.”

With that, she stormed out of the house.

 Christian knew what was going to happen next. She would call the Pastor to lay hands on him and take the evil spirit away from him.

But Christian knew Pastor Lebechi so well, that the thought of him coming over to pray for him was hilarious.

The same Pastor Lebechi who slapped his ass when they visited two years ago, and called him a big boy. The same Pastor Lebechi who had run a finger over his lower lip and called him an irresistible soul.

If whatever Christian was feeling was caused by the devil or an evil spirit, then Pastor Lebechi was a pioneer.

So Christian sat, patiently waiting for the arrival of his "savior".

© Farida Mijindadi