DEAR HOLLYWOOD

Hello! It’s me-Scarlet! I am sorry if this doesn’t turn up at the right door but I didn’t exactly find the best location you reside. You’re of course everywhere! Despite that, I wanted so much to tell you these few words so I had to write them down even if they will never get to you. By the way, do you like the name? Scarlett? My name is actually Barisiera Fanor. I guess I am a good student because you taught me not to like my native name. I picked up this name from this great beautiful actress I admire-Scarlett Johansson. She is a big name I know, kicking asses in Marvel movies. Great figure too! I mean I can’t get that much of an abb from eating garri to sleep but what else can I do? You have taught me to love hers’ more than my belly fat that pays a visit every now and so bearing a name is just a step.   

But! This is not why I wrote to you! 

I want you to script my life. Yes! I will give you the reasons why. 

If my life was a movie, I will always have the prince charming. I will be the Plain Jane that doesn’t wear makeup and is quite snotty under her blanket and doesn’t go anywhere but I will snatch up a boy that is twice as fine as Brad Pitt. I don’t even have to try to make an impression, be shy and it will be seen as cute. I might even have a love triangle! And with every scene that goes on, I will have the ‘right’ song playing in the background, not a confused girl on her bed that can’t find a song to describe what she feels, not a lyrics to pin her soul to. If my life was a movie, my parents will understand me and when I argue with them, definitely it might take time but they will come around right? I am sick and tired of my parents never realizing they were wrong and they hurt me! Didn’t they ever take a lesson from those movies! 

Think about it! Please! I want most things to make sense like it is on screen! How good people are always so close by and the right person finds you without you trying, and lessons are so quick to learn and the characters are quick to evolve, not a static being like me. 

I want to learn a lesson and turn a new leaf at an instance; you make it seem so flawless. Get to climax, a lesson, and then wah lai! Change! It’s not! It’s time-consuming and most time-wait-every time I don’t get to where I want. Is there even a climax! Like where did you learn that stuff from? I can’t find it in real life. I want someone to always be there, make a few changes, and right there are my entire dreams at the door. I wish my next-door neighbor, Dozie, will at least see me as a romantic prospect like you have taught us, not this distant young man I used to throw balls at when we were eleven. 

And oh! The sex! Dear Hollywood, how about you make my life just as pleasurable with that sphere as you do in most. I will appreciate it. Really appreciate it. There are no sparks to a kiss, there is just a rush and a top thrown aside. Random sex isn’t okay! Pfft! You could get your entire reputation thrown into the mud. But you can fix that for me-can you? You can fix my none-existent-happy love life? Wash out the pain and take away despicable humans and I will be all smiling. Isn’t that the formula you apply? 

Tell me you can fix it. Tell me I will be the main character that has everything figured out! Tell me making the right decisions doesn’t hurt sometimes. Tell me to just jump into the lagoon because I feel like, no consequences but good will come out. Tell me my friends will never grow apart, that the Plain Jane gets the star quarterback for being just Plain Jane. Tell me that I am beautiful without anything and at least make me feel like I don’t have to work myself to death most days to get a meal.

Can you tell me that? No. Can you script my life for me? Honestly, I am clueless about this one.

Love,

Scarlet. 

P.S: The garri I eat late nights gives me enough strength to fight off men who try to get pieces of me-lol. I guess, somehow I am a hero after all-like Bad Widow. 

What would you like to write to Hollywood if they agreed to script your life?